Changes

Its amazing how life changes when you aren't paying attention. I took our youngest son shoe shopping last week and was amazed that my "baby" was now wearing shoes that I can fit into.lol He got the big feet from my side of the family. And he is almost as tall as me.

I can go forever without seeing these things but every once in awhile I will be like WOOOW. My youngest son is 10. That's amazing to me. He is in 5th grade. And yes I am one of those a-typical moms who says "my baby is getting so big" and other sappy things like that. BUT I know not to say that around him, cause I get the eye roll.lol Instead my hubby has to hear it.

Recently, I was looking at pictures on my friend Liz’s Facebook page (check out her blog here http://elizabethdavisle.blogspot.com/), and I couldn’t believe how much our friends have changed in the time since we first started hanging out.

Below is an old pic of me, my friends Liz & Melissa.

When that pic was taken I was dating Clay living in the city, Melissa was with a jabba the hut look alike who treated her horribly and working at sns, and Liz was I believe on the off again edge of an on again off again relationship with a guy everyone detested, and was living with her parents and kids in the city.

Since then, I cut and dyed my  hair.lol I have started working on a degree, Clay and I have gotten married and am living in St. Charles. I went from being the mom of 1 to the mom of 4. I love my kid’s and the family we have created.

 Liz is now married and has had a baby with her husband and is living in South County with her husband and her 4 kids.  Melissa got rid of Jabba and is now engaged to be married to a friend of ours named Matt.  Now those are the major changes, there have also been minor changes for all 3 of us.  It is almost like we are 3 completely different people. I am so proud of all of us. We are in concrete relationships and doing AMAZING.

Below is a picture of 2 of my favorite guy, Luke and Jeff.  At the time of this pic, I believe they were both single. Since this pic was taken Jeff has had a kid and recently gotten married.  This is something I never would have seen coming. But I could NOT be happier for him.

Luke has dated like most of us some really bad choices. He dated one of my sisters for a short time which was very weird, not because she was my sister, but because their relationship just seemed off. Lol He now has a concrete relationship with our friend Alyssa and an ADORABLE son named David.

We are all MILES from where we were just 3 years ago. But they have all been amazing and awesome changes. I think it is fun to look at old pics and see just how much life can change and how quickly. I look forward to watching my friends and family’s lives evolve.

Chaos of life

Life is always complicated.  In some instances it seems that life throws things at you in clusters.  You can either freak out or you can figure it out. Up until lately I have been mainly on the freak out side. Anyone who knows me knows I can freak out about anything.  I have always been GREAT at helping others out of their issues.. But mine have been mountains, even when they were hills.

I have had more stressors lately than I normally do. No, that’s not true I have had more intense stressors, would be more accurate. So with my overly anxious mind you would think that I would really be over the edge. This is not true. And I can think of 2 reasons for this.

First off is faith. I have always been a believer. I was raised to. Lol However, the thought of letting someone else have control over me and my life has been insane to me. So I guess you could say that I have been a compartmental Christian. Lol I let God like everyone else in where I saw fit.  This worked pretty well for the most part. 

In the last few months I have opened myself up on many levels and in my relationship with God I have pulled my head out of my butt and realized he will do what he wants and by ignoring him I can’t control anything. And with that realization I have been able to lower the anxiety in my life. I know that there is a plan for my life and I know that God will not give me more than I can handle. So I live life trying to listen rather than control. And while the stresses are still there, the anxiety is lessened.

 The other reason I can handle things better, is my husband.

As most people know Clay and I have had a chaotic relationship. We came to realization in January that if we were going to have the relationship we wanted we were going to have to start over. Start from scratch and be more mindful of the issues that have caused us problems.  And since then we have had an AMAZING marriage. It’s like we went back 3 ½ years and begun anew. I can honestly say I love my husband more than I ever have. I have what I have always wanted. This doesn’t mean that our relationship is perfect. Cause we are to stubborn for that. It means that we pay more attention to the traps we fell into before and take care of them.

Everyone can see the change in us. Our family and friends have made comments on how you can see the difference in us. And that makes me soo happy. Because sometimes when you make changes you think no one notices.

So I feel overly blessed that I have better and more in-depth relationships to help me through the chaos that is life.

Friday... Friday

Wrote this on Friday and left it on my work computer... Fail I know.. But here is my Friday blog... A few days to late. lol: Its Friday!!!!!!!!!!! Finally Friday has come. It has been a LOOOOOONG week!!!! A couple weeks ago I found out our Company had been sold to a new owner and the company would be moving back to their previous address in Crestwood. This week our company moved to Crestwood from Earth City. Which means a much longer commute for me. Ick! Monday our info at work was sporadic. First it was we were packing over a 2-day period and moving on the second day. By the end of the day it was.. We were moving on the second day. So Issa and I ended up working till after 7pm on Monday to finish packing up the offices and packing stuff in our cars to ensure that our office stuff got moved without being lost. Tuesday I had to run to the Earth City location before heading to the Crestwood location. Ended up with even more stuff in my car. After leaving Earth City… My car decided it didn’t want to go to Crestwood…. So it went nuts… Thankfully I have the most AWESOME parents in the world. My dad put his day on hold drove out to Olive to get me. Used his AAA to get my car towed and took me with all my office crap to the new office and then helped me get it all out. And bought me a soda on top of it… Did I mention he was awesome. Lol The rest of Tuesday was chaotic mess of telling crew guys where to put stuff. Etc. Good news for Tuesday was the guy who bought our Company… Has direct deposit…. YESSS!!! This works especially since our bank is nowhere near work in Crestwood. So now the money goes directly into the bank… Wednesday was another chaotic day. I am pretty impatient so I ended up unburying my new desk and moving it into my office on my own. Lol That thing was heavy!!! Thursday was a chaotic workday… We had the phones on by late Wednesday so Thursday was full of calls and etc. My office was ¼ put together so it was fun trying to do normal everyday stuff without the full structure. I caught up on A LOT of work. So when 5 o’clock came I was GONE. Today is Friday and I have been getting more caught up and finding the surface of my desk. The bins on my desk are starting to empty.. Although I am sure they will refill over time. Lol But considering, Monday was prep work. Tuesday and Wednesday I wasn’t able to do much… The last 2days have been catch up. I already have a crapload of contracts that are going to have to wait till Monday… I get off work in a few hours. And I will go pick my sister up and go home. I plan to relax this weekend. Do as little as possible… Cause Monday its back to normal…

Saturday Ramblings

Its the first Saturday of April... And while life has been pretty chaotic.. Right now is pretty tame. I am sitting on the floor in my living room (yes I am one of those weird people who dont mind the floor), drinking hot chocolate,typing this while my 10 yr old son and my sister play the bible game on ps2.... I can faintly hear my husbands snores iminating from the bedroom... I like it when life is this simple... It makes me happy.

It really is the simple things in life that make me happy. A good joke fom a friend, a good song playing in the background. Goofing off in the car with my 2 teenage sons on the way to Kidzcrossing on the weekends we serve. Jokingly threatining my husbands life when he makes a joke about how clumsy I can be... I love nature the simplistic as well as majestic way the sun shines, the color of leaves, I could go on. I have pictures of the awe and wonder of nature.

I am 30 yrs old and a good night of friends is just being with friends. I love my family and my friends and I treasure the time I have with them. Even more now that those opps are far and few between. I spend as much time with my kids as I can, fully knowing that they are on the verge of not needing us anymore. And while that sucks. I am eager to see what kind of adults they mold into.

This blog has been interupted by an impromptu skype conversation with a friends kid... And sad to say no matter how much I tried she would not believe I lived in the computer... Fail for me. lol

I went to bed last night realizing for the first time in forever. April fools had come and gone without even an attempt at a joke. Shows the changing of time. While I knew it was April 1st. It completly slipped my mind that it was one of my favorite Holidays...

Man Im getting home....

This random blog brought to you by lack of sleep and hot shacoloate. lol

Random

So I am in kind of a random mood today. Instead of going about my day in my normal order I have been kinda doing random things. lol Breaks up the monotony....
So I thought I would do a random blog... Theme of the day and all.. So here are some random things.......

• I have an aversion to classical music... Which is weird I am sure. lol But it puts me to sleep.
• I worked out a prescription method for how to use M&M's as a mood enhancer...... and no I am not joking.. Ask my husband and my niece Shelby.lol
  
• I think it is funny when people blame the current president (whoever it happens to be) for ALL the problems of our government. Its like they forget that the current president gets handed all the mistakes of the previous president.
• I love spending time with my kids.. I know most parents just want their kids to go away.. But even if its just watching them play games. I LOVE the time I have with them.
• When I was a kid a friends dad was so racist he would not even use brown sugar.lol
• My high school was known as the "Gay school"... It was a performing arts school..
  
• When I go clothes shopping I generally start at the clearance racks.. Since I don't care what the "current style" is buying clothes that are out of season for cheaper than normal is AWESOME to me.
• I am considered the NORMAL one in my family.... Which is scary. lol
  
• I always have my music players on shuffle.. I cant stand listening to the same person singing repeatedly.lol
  
• I love the outdoors. I used to have to put worms on the pools for my friends as they did the girl shriek.lol
• I am addicted to cameras. I love photography !!!!!
• I am a help-a-holic.. It annoys the crap out of me when I cant help.lol
• I don't have just one best friend. I have multiple. And my relationship with each is very different.
  
• I never played with barbies.. If I had interaction with barbie.. It was running her over with a tank. lmao
• Its dangerous to ask me what you think.... Ask for the truth.. You had better be prepared to hear it.
  
• I hate when people push their religion or aversion to religion on others. Believing in God is like most other things. You have to want to. If you don't, its pointless. I don't judge people on whether or not their are christian... I judge them on how they are as people. I have seen so called Christians who are the worst kind of human... On the other hand I have seen agnostics/atheists that would give mother Theresa a run for her money :)
• I spend at least 2 Sundays a month volunteering at church.. I mean I get to be helpful and play with the most AWESOME 2-3 yr old's on the planet WIN-WIN (And no unlike Charlie Sheen I am NOT addicted to winning...)
• Dr. Pepper is no longer my favorite soda.... A moment of silence....... Every since they messed with the formula it just doesn't taste the same. I drink more cherry coke or cherry Dr. pepper than I do normal Dr. pepper.
• I am more comfortable with myself and my life this year than I have been in a LOOONG TIME.
• I got married 8 months after meeting my husband... I'm impatient. lol
• I am an army brat. Both my parents were in the service and I was born on a base WHOO HOOO
  

Blended Families

Everyone who knows me, knows that I came from a blended family. Overly blended probably.

My mother had 2 kids with my birth father. Myself and my sister Jessica. My dad had 1 kid with his ex-wife who had 4 kids when she married my dad. When my mom and dad got together she brought with her myself and my sister. My dad brought with him his daughter and his step-kids. So when their relationship started they had a combined 7 kids. You would think that number would be enough... right??? Well 2 of my dads step kids were grown and out of the house.. So we had 5 kids in house... Well my parents had 4 kids together.. So the math would total... Yup 11 kids. So that's what I would call a blended family. Its like his,hers,ours, and some tag-a-longs. lol.
You may ask.. why in the world they would want to add that many kids to an already hectic number.. Well the short answer is my mom is stubborn (yes that is where i get it. lol ). My mother wanted to give my dad a boy..
Their first kid together (Gina) was supposed to be a boy.... Nope she was a girl. Mom had some minor complications with this pregnancy(starting off with somehow not knowing she was pregnant for 4 months. lol). They told her to be careful..
Their next kid (Ashley) again was supposed to be a boy.. Nope Girl.... She has some issues and they told my mother she needs to consider stopping at that one... But like I said my mother is stubborn.. She wanted to give my dad a boy and she was going to....
Their next kid together (Ce-Ce) was again supposed to be...... you guessed it a boy.. Nope another girl.. Now she had some major complications with this one and they told her DO NOT TRY AGAIN.. They warned her she may die with the next one...
If your keeping count that's 3 kids... so... yep she tried again.... This pregnancy was complicated from the start and was supposed to be an girl (Seriously who was reading these ultrasounds....) But THANKFULLY on August 4th 1989.. My baby brother was born.. Both my mom and my brother almost died... But they both survived. Once they got my mom stabilized they told my dad, my brothers chances were almost nil.
We constantly joke the ONLY reason Jimmy was a boy was because God knew if that baby had not been a boy.. My mom would have tried again. lol

I think being from a blended family was actually an asset for me. I have a better take on certain things. I understand how the dynamics work. And since I have so many siblings and so many experiences with different relations I can kind of understand a bit more.

When I met my husband he had 3 kids and I had one. So we have a blended family, unlike my parents we do not feel the need to add to our passel. Partly because We do not have the time or energy to add to the number and partially because when our kids are out of the house in 8 years.. We can enjoy the quiet till the grand kids come. lol

I know people who have their significant others kids in addition to their own and they definatley keep the differences acknowledged. I understand why they think that way. But I expect them to understand why I think how I do.
I have kinda taken on my dads take on step-kids.I do not even call them my "step kids" unless its for reference purposes. I can count on my hand how many times I have hear my dad call me "Gretchen's kid". I am the same way, I do not treat Clays kids any different than I treat Joey. And I do not stand for anyone else to either. My kids are my kids whether I gave birth to them or not. If anyone tries to treat them different than Joey.. They have to deal with me.

Monday Monday

Its Monday.
I cannot believe January is almost over.... SHEESH... This last month has been a roller coaster ride. With a little bit of everything going on. But things SEEM to be settling down. I say seem because usually when I think things are settling down they are only ramping back up again... In a new better or seriously stressful direction.

This weekend my husband was out of town. I was supposed to be on my own no kids no hubby all weekend. That did not exactly happen. I know I may loose my mom or woman "card" for saying this but I actually prefer to have my husband or kids around. I love taking care of them, hanging out with them and generally spending time with them.

This weekend I got to spend time with my 2 oldest sons. Which is awesome and something I do not get to do very often. And On Sunday Logan joined Orion and I in volunteering at Kidzcrossing at church. He worked the 2-3 yr old room with me.. It was fun.... He thinks that room is possibly not his age range so he will try Orion's room next week. I just love the fact that he is interested and wanting to do something like that. I am so proud of both of my sons and their desire to help others and volunteer in such an Awesome way. Our youngest son is to young to volunteer but who knows in a few years they may all be doing it... As long as they want to . I am a huge believer that forcing people to do these kinds of things puts more of a negative tone on the situation than a positive one.

I am super sonic excited for Wednesday. I get to drive to Rolla. Now while spending 2 hrs in a car by myself is not the most exciting thing to do. I am super excited to go pick up my husband and get to drive back with him. When we first got together he lived out that way so these drives were almost a weekly thing. It has been forever since we took the drive and I am looking forward to the 2 hr drive back.. Turn off the phones and just be... YEEEEE

And that is my ramble for today yeeee. lol