Anyone who knows me, knows I love to help. I am a self proclaimed helper junkie. I have taken wired, personality, gift, etc assessments and they all agree I am a helper.
I love it, I love to be there for people whether you are my best friend or a perfect stranger. I can thank my parents for that. I was raised to take care of others. Both by instruction and unspoken direction I was raised to take care. I was raised to put others before myself.
I love it, I love to be there for people whether you are my best friend or a perfect stranger. I can thank my parents for that. I was raised to take care of others. Both by instruction and unspoken direction I was raised to take care. I was raised to put others before myself.
The thing I suck at is admitting when something is wrong for me. I could have the absolute wooorst day EVER and if you ask me how I am doing..... I'm great couldn't be better... I could have 2 flat tires on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere in a snowstorm and if you pulled over and asked if I needed help... Id be like no I got this... Admitting I need help is a major fear to me. It is a weakness. I hate it. Growing up in the world I did created a MAJOR inferiority complex.
During our marriage when there were times that we needed help in anyway Clay always had to take care of it. I just couldn't do it.. I just didn't want to do it.. It drove him CRAZZZZY.
When I finally started telling people what happened between Clay and I the response was immediately started with "what do you need", "how can I/we help"... This gave me hives. lol Admitting my marriage was over was bad enough but I hate those questions. I take care of people get it I take care of people.. It doesn't work both ways. How did these people NOT get that. Come on people get with the program.
When I told my friend Elizabeth what was going on she suggested I contact the pastoral staff at our church and tell them what was going on so they could assist in walking through it....I immediately wanted to go climb under the first rock i could find and hide there. In fact in the email to the pastors i mentioned that. I did not want to admit this was happening much less that I needed help. And a meeting was setup..
On the day of the meeting this amazing woman gave me this tiny rock. with the letters W I P on it ( I have stated many times over the last couple years I am a work in progress and continually changing and growing) and told me that was the only rock I was allowed to hide under... Now given that I'm 5'7 it was obviously impossible to. lol
At that stage I wasn't past the whole hiding under a rock thing. I once told her i thought I lost the rock and she replied with something about it being the last rock and not hiding anymore.
With the help of her, some other amazing people God had placed in my life over the years and a counselor. I no longer feel the urge to hide under a rock. My best friend is getting used to me telling her when something is wrong, just as i am getting used to telling her.lol And that tiny rock, the "last rock i was to hide under" the one Elizabeth wanted me to at some point to not need anymore. Sits in my living room on my tv and not because I need to hide under it. But instead it is a reminder of what I don't want to feel, no longer need and a reminder that sometimes your friends love you enough to give you what you need. And on that day and every day since. I have needed this rock.
On the day of the meeting this amazing woman gave me this tiny rock. with the letters W I P on it ( I have stated many times over the last couple years I am a work in progress and continually changing and growing) and told me that was the only rock I was allowed to hide under... Now given that I'm 5'7 it was obviously impossible to. lol
At that stage I wasn't past the whole hiding under a rock thing. I once told her i thought I lost the rock and she replied with something about it being the last rock and not hiding anymore.
With the help of her, some other amazing people God had placed in my life over the years and a counselor. I no longer feel the urge to hide under a rock. My best friend is getting used to me telling her when something is wrong, just as i am getting used to telling her.lol And that tiny rock, the "last rock i was to hide under" the one Elizabeth wanted me to at some point to not need anymore. Sits in my living room on my tv and not because I need to hide under it. But instead it is a reminder of what I don't want to feel, no longer need and a reminder that sometimes your friends love you enough to give you what you need. And on that day and every day since. I have needed this rock.
