Chaos of life

Life is always complicated.  In some instances it seems that life throws things at you in clusters.  You can either freak out or you can figure it out. Up until lately I have been mainly on the freak out side. Anyone who knows me knows I can freak out about anything.  I have always been GREAT at helping others out of their issues.. But mine have been mountains, even when they were hills.

I have had more stressors lately than I normally do. No, that’s not true I have had more intense stressors, would be more accurate. So with my overly anxious mind you would think that I would really be over the edge. This is not true. And I can think of 2 reasons for this.

First off is faith. I have always been a believer. I was raised to. Lol However, the thought of letting someone else have control over me and my life has been insane to me. So I guess you could say that I have been a compartmental Christian. Lol I let God like everyone else in where I saw fit.  This worked pretty well for the most part. 

In the last few months I have opened myself up on many levels and in my relationship with God I have pulled my head out of my butt and realized he will do what he wants and by ignoring him I can’t control anything. And with that realization I have been able to lower the anxiety in my life. I know that there is a plan for my life and I know that God will not give me more than I can handle. So I live life trying to listen rather than control. And while the stresses are still there, the anxiety is lessened.

 The other reason I can handle things better, is my husband.

As most people know Clay and I have had a chaotic relationship. We came to realization in January that if we were going to have the relationship we wanted we were going to have to start over. Start from scratch and be more mindful of the issues that have caused us problems.  And since then we have had an AMAZING marriage. It’s like we went back 3 ½ years and begun anew. I can honestly say I love my husband more than I ever have. I have what I have always wanted. This doesn’t mean that our relationship is perfect. Cause we are to stubborn for that. It means that we pay more attention to the traps we fell into before and take care of them.

Everyone can see the change in us. Our family and friends have made comments on how you can see the difference in us. And that makes me soo happy. Because sometimes when you make changes you think no one notices.

So I feel overly blessed that I have better and more in-depth relationships to help me through the chaos that is life.