This week has been an interesting one. I have gotten into a book that I am reading for my leadership class at church that starts next month (CANT WAIT!!!). The book is called “Be the Leader you were Meant to be” by Leroy Eims. It is quite the interesting read. It is written very down to earth and has information and practical information. I have to read the first 3 chapters before the 1st of September, which for me is not hard at all. I read pretty much anything I can get my hands on (besides manuals… those bore me. lol)
And while reading it I have kind of been on a teeter totter as to whether I should be taking this class. Am I cut out for it? And of course the flip side, being sure that I am going to do this and how awesome it is going to be. lol Ironically the book starts off by saying that doubting doesn’t mean it’s not meant to be. And one of the first stories discussed is when Moses was told by God that HE was to lead his people out of their enslavement and into “the land of milk and honey”.
So reading this book and preparing for this class along with another class Clay and I will be taking together. This has pretty much once again refocused my life. I find myself focusing on more Christ centered things. Thinking of things that I want to change (I do this a lot)…….
Ironically a few days ago I was having a nice little chat with God. And I was asking him to help me with one of the major things I have a problem with… And that is anxiety… I am an overly anxious person. A few years ago I started referring to myself as a p.w.w. (paranoid worry wart). If there is something in a 500 mile radius to worry about, I’m on it. If there is something that can go wrong, I’m thinking about it…
This drives my husband NUTS….. Cause is pretty much the opposite. Lol
So after this conversation with God… it is my belief that not only did he showed up, He decided to teach me something.
I am currently working a temp job… and I have to wear a badge to work... If I lose it the price of $15 comes out of my pocket… So every day my husband puts it in my purse. So Tuesday night I decide to do it myself. I go to take my badge off my shirt and realize it is NOT there. Since being home I have been in 2 rooms the kitchen and the bedroom. So I tear both rooms apart... And can NOT find it. I walk from our apt to the mailbox to see if I dropped it and no luck. I am FREAKING out…. So I go to bed thinking of how much of an annoyance it is to go through the rigor to get this taken care of. UGGGH
Wednesday morning is the first day of school for the 2 kids that live with us (my husband and I have 2) so I’m up early with them getting em ready and doing the mom thing (pictures.lol) when Logan goes to ride his bus it never shows up… By the time we realize I’m going to have to take him to school its 7:20… I have to be at work at 7:45…… So now not only do I have to deal with the badge thing I have to deal with the being late to work thing…. So now I am doubly freaking out. So I rush through getting stuff ready and I get in the car…. I go to put my seatbelt on and what is hanging on the TOP of the seatbelt…………… Yep… my badge…. The badge I had an anxiety freak out for 4 hrs the night before….. So I joke around with Logan as I take him to school… And I jump on 70 to 270 which are not moving very fast and jump on Page… Get to work look at the clock…. Its 7:35………………………… I am 10 minutes early…………….
So I look up and I say………. Ok got your point….. Coming in clear... I need to calm down. Lol………
Now right or wrong I believe that God likes to test you….. And I feel like he did. I’d say I got an A on the first test…. And a C+ on the second.
Test # 1…..
It’s gorgeous outside so I left one of the windows down…… When the RAIN starts to come down I cannot remember how low the window is and if it is the only one….. Ok so instead of instant panicking (my usual m.o.) I tried to figure out if I rolled the other window up... Cant… but I decide to let it ride…….. I refused to get all freaked out about it. It probably helped that I turned my back on the GIANT windows by my desk. Lol When I was able to take break I checked on the car and one window was all the way down… but only a few droplets had managed to get inside… Which is amazing…………. Test past.
I’m texting Logan to see how his day went and at 4pm Joey still has not made it home. He gets off school at 3….. We live 10 minutes from school…… And he is not home yet………. Can you feel the anxiety going through my head…….. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…… As I’m texting my son and trying to get through to my husband my battery dies…….. Yeaaaaah... So I am driving home trying to figure out all the things that can cause him to be an hour and a half late… But I’m deep breathing and trying to shut out the entire list of p.w.w. thoughts hat come in. I decide to just get home and deal with it then…. So I manage to calm myself down… Focus on all the weird people driving in the wrong lane. Lol I get home and Joey is munching on some snackage…. Test past C+……..
Some might see these as coincidences… I see them for what they seem like to me.
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