About Me

My photo
Hi, Im Katie, I am a recovering helper junkie.lol I love making people laugh, hanging out with my friends, photography, I have a fun chaotic life and am blessed on a daily basis. I ramble on about big and stupid things.lol yap yap yap.lol

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Divorce Day

Almost 2 weeks ago Clay and I "finalized" our divorce.
Ironically it was 5 days shy of  a year of our separation, we went from Seperated to divorced in just under a year.

I took the day off. With the idea of sleeping in, ha ha yeah that didnt happen. I slept past my alarm but by no stretch of the imagination did i "sleep in". Did random things, texted a few friends to brag about NOOOT having to get up early on a Monday morning. Cause Im evil like that. lol

We were scheduled for court at 1:30. We had decided to drive together because it seemed stupid to do otherwise. I would love to say I spent the whole day in righteous fine-ness. People who know me know I hate to admit anything is not ok with me. Something I have been working on for the last year. About an hour before I left the house. I got.... uneasy... Started pacing my apartment and went from everythings fine to blah.

I know that what we have decided to do is the right decision. I know we DO NOT work as a couple and this is a decision that should have been made years ago. But due to the level of expectations  I have myself.  I had the OVERWHELMING sense of being a failure. And being selfish and a couple other things that made me feel extremly irritated and emotional and irritated because I was emotional. (Have I mentioned Im odd.lol). I texted a few friends and told them how I was and got an amazing outpouring of reminders of the same things I was telling myself as well as a few well placed bible verses by one of the most amazing women I know.

Clay and I decided to hit Picasso's before court since we would be in the area. Yes thats right my soon to be ex husband and I went for cofffee before standing in front of a judge to affim we did not want to be married anymore.lol

When I picked up Clay I told him I was not ok and he admitted to being in the same boat.  We went down to Picasso's and tried a couple new drinks and hung out and chatted before going to court. As is my usual thing we got there way early.lol

We sat there watching others go before us before we stood in front of the judge for maaybe 10 minutes.... And then it was over. Afterwards I decided I wanted to go to Frontier Park for a couple minutes. I am a nature junkie and I just wanted to stand in nature and kind of breath for a moment. As we parked the car and walked across the snow I pulled up my Matthew West Pandora station and a couple of my favorite worship songs played as  I stood there in the snow looking out over the water and I could almost feel a boulder being lifted off of me.

I was ok. I had made........... We had made the right decision. While it is irritating to think of the fact that we waited to long and caused each other and others pain by not doing this sooner. We ended things in time to save our friendship, our relationships with each others families. Its another weirdness in my life. My ex husband is one of my closest friends, he is in his eyes and joeys Joey's dad, like my father and I .... Joey and Clay don't use the word "step". Joey and I will always be part of the James family and the same can be said for Clay and the kids.

So looking forward and not back. Focusing on the good that has and will come out of this " journey" in my life and how it has and will affect the future.


No comments: